Parallels
by Jenn Perry
Summary: Stress gets the better of Scully. . .
1. Ophelia

Title: Parallels I - Ophelia  
Author: SexyPhile  
E-mail: sexyphile@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13 (a couple of "bad" words)  
Spoilers: No real spoilers...occurs before "Milagro"  
Keywords: Scully Angst, Mulder/Scully Friendship  
Distribution: Gossamer ok. Others, please ask (I like to know where my   
stuff is)  
Disclaimer: "The X-Files", Dana Scully, Fox Mulder and any other character  
you recognize belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox Television.  
The song "Cry Ophelia" belongs to Adam Cohen and can be found on the   
"Dawson's Creek" Soundtrack.  
Summary: Stress gets the better of Scully. . .  
  
* * * * * *  
  
You say you wanna learn how to live your life without tears  
But we've been trying to do that for thousands of years  
So go on and cry Ophelia  
It's the only thing to do sometimes  
You know I'm crying too  
Right there with you  
It's alright Ophelia  
Everybody cries  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Tuesday. It was only Tuesday. These days time seemed to  
move so slowly and yet there was never enough time to get  
everything done. Ever since the X-Files had been re-opened,BR  
it felt like she was working non-stop. The paperwork had BR  
always been a pain, but now there were even more reports to BR  
file and forms to fill out. Mulder was never any help. BR  
Well, he tried, but he would always get fed up halfway BR  
through and either just stop or start filling them out with BR  
bogus information and smartass comments. Any reports or BR  
forms that Mulder completed, she would have to go over before BR  
handing in to Skinner, which made more work for her. So, BR  
she usually just did the reports right the first time, and BR  
let Mulder look for the new cases.BR  
BR  
Today, though, she was tired. She wasn't sleeping well at BR  
night. Even though she felt exhausted, she would lie awake BR  
at night, thinking of all the things she needed to get done.BR  
As if her job wasn't stressful enough, her brother Charlie BR  
was getting married in a month. Her mother was driving her BR  
crazy with dress fittings and decisions. She had protested BR  
that she wasn't even sure if she would be in town for the BR  
wedding because of work, so she really shouldn't be in the BR  
wedding party, but of course Maggie Scully would have none BR  
of that. Bill had chimed in that family came first, and she BR  
hadn't been able to go to *his* wedding, so she ought to go BR  
to her other brother's. Reluctantly, she agreed, and had BR  
spent the last two months listening to her mother and BR  
Charlie's fiancee, Lauren, go over every little detail. BR  
Scully loved weddings as much as the next person, but as a BR  
single woman in her 30s, she was plagued by loneliness.BR  
BR  
And if that weren't enough to make her go crazy, her BR  
finances were in serious trouble. She had begun to make a BR  
dent in the hospital bills from the two years ago and was BR  
close to finally paying off her student loans from medical BR  
school, but with her off-and-on suspensions with and without BR  
pay, she wasn't sure if she would make rent next month. She BR  
was tired of being in debt, so she didn't want to take out BR  
another loan to cover her expenses. She just hoped that she BR  
could make it through somehow.BR  
BR  
She sighed and rolled her neck around, reaching her right BR  
hand up to rub the kinks out. Her muscles were all so BR  
tense, but she hadn't had enough time lately to do her BR  
normal stress-relieving activities like a warm bath or a BR  
couple hours at the gym. She made a mental note to find BR  
some time this weekend to just unwind. She sighed again and BR  
then went back to the mind-numbing activity of field BR  
expenditure forms, which, of course, had to be filled out BR  
in triplicate.BR  
BR  
"Scully, you OK?" Mulder queried after hearing her sigh theBR  
second time.BR  
BR  
Scully looked up, startled. She had been lost in her own BR  
thoughts for so long, she had forgotten he was here. "Yeah,BR  
I'm fine, Mulder, just a little tired. You know how much BR  
fun filling out these forms is." She managed a weak smile BR  
and then went back to work.BR  
BR  
Mulder wasn't sure what scared him more: her automatic BR  
response of "I'm fine" or the dark circles under her eyes BR  
that told him she was most definitely *not* fine. He BR  
thought they had gotten past the closed-off thinking and theBR  
emotional walls. After all they had been through, she stillBR  
felt that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. It was BR  
only after near-death experiences that she would break down BR  
and have a good cry. He knew as a psychologist as well as BR  
her friend that pent-up feelings, whether happy, angry, BR  
whatever, were not healthy. These last two weeks, he had BR  
noticed that she seemed run down, but all inquiries were BR  
dismissed with her trademark, "I'm fine, Mulder."BR  
BR  
Scully looked up an hour later and decided she had done as BR  
much work as she could for one day. She could feel her eyesBR  
drifting shut and the words on the form she was filling out BR  
were swimming together. She was sure Mulder wouldn't mind BR  
if she left early. She had a long week and weekend ahead ofBR  
her. Charlie and Lauren were coming into town on Thursday BR  
and Bill, Tara and Matthew would be arriving on Saturday. BR  
The family had decided that planning this wedding was giving BR  
them the perfect excuse to get together more often. Scully BR  
had a million things to do between now and then and she BR  
never knew when a new case would come up. Maggie, Lauren, BR  
and Tara were coming over to her apartment on Saturday, so BR  
she needed to get it cleaned up. She also had to go groceryBR  
shopping, pick up her dry cleaning, and get her hair cut. BR  
She hated when it got long--it was just too much maintenance.BR  
BR  
"Mulder?" Scully said.BR  
BR  
"Hmmm?"BR  
BR  
"I'm going to cut out early today. I've got some errands BR  
to run and we're not really busy today, so. . ." She BR  
trailed off.BR  
BR  
Scully thought she saw a look of surprise flicker across BR  
his face, but it was quickly replaced by concern. "Sure, BR  
Scully. Nothing's wrong, I hope?"BR  
BR  
"No, no. I've just got a lot of things to do before my BR  
brothers come into town."BR  
BR  
"More wedding plans?"BR  
BR  
"Yep. You'd think we were trying to organize a coronation BR  
instead of a wedding. I swear I've seen more of my family BR  
in these last two months than I have in the last six years."BR  
BR  
"It must be nice."BR  
BR  
"It is. It's just. . . I don't know. . . planning this BR  
whole thing has got me thinking about my current love BR  
situation, or should I say, lack there of. It's not like I BR  
need someone to function or anything, but Lauren, Tara, and BR  
Mom are having so much fun with it, I just wish. . . you BR  
know?"BR  
BR  
"Yeah. I think I understand what you're saying. Well, I BR  
won't hold up any longer. Go get your errands done and then BR  
get some sleep. You look like you could use some." Mulder BR  
said, in a last ditch effort to get her to confide in him BR  
what else was bothering her.BR  
BR  
"Thanks." Scully smiled absently. She turned off her BR  
computer and grabbed her purse. "I'll see you tomorrow, BR  
OK?"BR  
BR  
"See ya!" Mulder watched her leave. He hoped she would be BR  
okay. He knew she was a big girl and could take care of BR  
herself, and although she always told him she would tell BR  
him if things got rough, he doubted she really would. She BR  
was too proud. He knew he would not think less of her for BR  
it. In fact, he would definitely think more of her for BR  
overcoming her fear, but no matter what he said, he could BR  
never convince her of that.BR  
BR  
* * * * * *BR  
BR  
You've been working hardBR  
Just trying to pay the rentBR  
Tryin' to draw the line between who you are and who you invent  
But if you throw a stoneBR  
Something's gonna shatter somewhereBR  
We're all so fragileBR  
We're all so scared BR  
BR  
* * * * * *BR  
BR  
6:30. How'd it get to be so late, Scully wondered to BR  
herself. She had left the office around two, and had been BR  
going ever since. She had picked up her dry-cleaning, only BR  
to realize now that she was home, that it wasn't hers. Then BR  
when she called the cleaners, she discovered that they close BR  
at 5:30 on Tuesdays, so she'd have to wait until tomorrow BR  
to pick up her clothes. She had gotten the groceries, but BR  
when she called for a hair appointment, they couldn't fit BR  
her in until Friday. As if she didn't have enough to do BR  
on Friday.BR  
BR  
Scully sighed as she sank down on her sofa and kicked her BR  
shoes off. She wiggled her toes and tried to ignore the BR  
soreness she felt. She knew she should eat some dinner, but BR  
she wasn't very hungry. She decided to finish the report BR  
she had been working on before she left work. All she BR  
really wanted to do was take a nap, but when there was work BR  
to do, she couldn't really justify taking time out for BR  
herself.BR  
BR  
Scully went into her bedroom to change into some comfy BR  
clothes. She took off her pantsuit and pulled on an extra BR  
large black T-shirt with FBI written in white block letters BR  
across the chest and some gray running shorts. She wandered BR  
into the bathroom and flicked on the light. Mechanically, BR  
she scrubbed off her make-up and then put her hair up with a BR  
white scrunchie. She glanced up at the mirror and noticed BR  
the large circles under her eyes. She really needed to get BR  
more sleep. Maybe when things settled down.BR  
BR  
Turning off the light, she went into the living room to BR  
retrieve her laptop and then she padded back to her bedroom. BR  
She clicked on the lamp on her bedside table and climbed BR  
onto her bed. She loved laying on her bed because she had BR  
so many overstuffed pillows. It was kinda girlie, but she BR  
liked it anyway. Rationally, she knew she didn't need a BR  
queen-sized be as a single woman, but it was nice to have BR  
the space on days like this. Besides, one day (hopefully BR  
sooner rather than later), she hoped she would be sharing BR  
it. Well, enough feeling sorry for yourself, Dana, she BR  
scolded herself, you've got work to do.BR  
BR  
Once she got settled, she turned on her laptop and waited BR  
for it to boot up. She really needed a faster computer, but BR  
with her finances the way they were, she really couldn't BR  
afford to buy a new one or even an upgrade. Once it was BR  
ready, she plugged in her second line to the modem and BR  
accessed her report from the FBI database. Halfway through, BR  
she could feel her eyes falling shut. Well, maybe she'd justBR  
rest her eyes for a minutes. . .BR  
BR  
* * * * * *BR  
BR  
Something went wrongBR  
You are not laughingBR  
It's not so easy now to get your smileBR  
You gotta be wrongBR  
To walk these streetsBR  
And keep from fallingBR  
But when you're not, just let yourself cryBR  
BR  
* * * * * *BR  
BR  
WednesdayBR  
10:31 a.m.BR  
Scully's ApartmentBR  
BR  
Mulder pounded furiously on Scully's door. At first he BR  
hadn't been worried. He usually got to work before she did, BR  
but when it got to be after 9:30, he knew something was up. BR  
He tried calling her cell phone, but it was turned off. He BR  
then tried calling her apartment, but got no answer there as BR  
well. So now, here he was, pounding on her door, to no BR  
avail. He was debating whether or not he should use his BR  
key. His need to find out if she was okay won out over his BR  
fear of invading her privacy. Mulder fished his keys out BR  
of his pocket and found her key. Hesitating slightly, not BR  
sure of what he might find, he unlocked her door and quietly BR  
stepped inside.BR  
BR  
"Scully! Are you home?" Mulder called out. He stood BR  
silent for a moment, listening for a reply. At first, he BR  
heard nothing, then what sounded like a moan coming from BR  
Scully's bedroom, but he was not prepared for what he saw. BR  
Scully was stretched out on her bed with her computer on BR  
her lap and her case notes spread out around her. Relieved BR  
that she was alive, he let out the breath he hadn't realized BR  
he had been holding.BR  
BR  
Mulder turned off her computer and moved it off her. She BR  
groaned again and this time she rolled onto her left side, BR  
so her back was facing him. He leaned over her and gently BR  
shook her shoulder. "Scully, c'mon, it's time to get up BR  
now. It's 10:30. . ."BR  
BR  
Scully murmured, "Just a few more minutes. . ."BR  
BR  
"C'mon Scully. You gotta get up. You're late for work andBR  
Skinner wants to see us for a meeting at 12:30. You've got BR  
to wake up now." Mulder hated to disturb her sleep since it BR  
seemed this was the first time she had slept well in days, BR  
but. . .BR  
BR  
"Mulder, what are you doing here? What time is it?" BR  
Scully interrupted Mulder's thoughts, looking very confused BR  
and only somewhat awake,BR  
BR  
"It's 10:30, Scully. You didn't come to work this morning, BR  
so I got worried. Are you. . .?" Before Mulder finished BR  
his question, Scully was out of bed and frantically trying BR  
to gather up her papers.BR  
BR  
"Omigod! How could this happen?! Oh fuck, now I don't have BR  
our report done for our meeting with Skinner! I knew I BR  
shouldn't have cut out early yesterday. I could have gotten BR  
my errands done today. Smooth move, Dana, and now I don't BR  
even have time for breakfast. . .Oh shit! The groceries!" BR  
Scully flew out of the room toward the kitchen.BR  
BR  
Mulder watched her tirade in silence. He was stunned. BR  
He'd never seen her act so manic before. Something was BR  
definitely wrong with her. He couldn't watch her suffer any BR  
longer.BR  
BR  
Mulder slowly moved toward the kitchen, but when he heard BR  
the commotion, he moved quickly to investigate. He entered BR  
the kitchen to find Scully throwing food packages at the BR  
wall and to the floor.BR  
BR  
"Scully!" Mulder exclaimed out of shock.BR  
BR  
"What?!" Scully answered, obviously exasperated. She BR  
couldn't believe this was happening. She had totally BR  
forgotten about the food she had bought the day before, so BR  
now all the perishable items were ruined. It wasn't like BR  
her to get so angry about something like this, but then BR  
again, it wasn't like her to do something like this. She BR  
couldn't believe she had overslept like this. She had so BR  
much to do. She only had an hour to get ready. This was BR  
going to be a horrible day, she could tell already.BR  
BR  
"What did it do to you?" Mulder joked weakly about the BR  
food now littering her kitchen floor.BR  
BR  
"What? Huh? Oh, nothing. I just forgot to put it away BR  
last night and it has spoiled. No big deal. I guess I'll BR  
just have to stop by the store tonight after work." Scully BR  
abruptly switched gears, and seemed completely rational, as BR  
if this was normal behavior for her.BR  
BR  
"Scully? I'm serious. What is going on? You've got to BR  
open up a little bit. I'm completely in the dark here."BR  
BR  
"I'm okay, Mulder. I just overslept and I've got a lot to BR  
do today."BR  
BR  
"Stop lying to me. You are NOT okay and you are NOT fine. BR  
Don't think you have to go through this by yourself. I BR  
know, you think that you have to keep it all inside and it BR  
will go away. It's not going away, Scully, whatever it is. BR  
You may think that you don't need me, and that may be true, BR  
but I need you. It hurts me so much when you just close off BR  
to me. Now, tell me what it going on." Mulder laid it all BR  
on the table. Now it was up to her to take the lead.BR  
BR  
"Mulder, look, it's stupid, okay? I've just had a hard timeBR  
sleeping is all. Sorry about being late for work. Other BR  
than that I'm fine." Scully smiled, but Mulder could see BR  
that her eyes weren't agreeing with what her mouth was BR  
saying.BR  
BR  
"I hear what you're saying, but I don't believe it. BR  
Whatever is bothering, it's not stupid. If you weren't so BR  
tense and hard on yourself you'd realize that you've got to BR  
find an outlet for this. Talk to me. Tell me what you're BR  
feeling." Mulder pleaded with her.BR  
BR  
"Okay, if you really want to know. . ."BR  
BR  
"I do."BR  
BR  
"It's just...well...I guess I'm just stressed out. I'm BR  
tired all the time, but I can't sleep at night, well, except BR  
for last night I suppose. And my family is coming into town BR  
tomorrow, for like, the tenth time this year, to plan this BR  
*wedding*, which just seems like nothing but a constant BR  
reminder that I am the only single member of the Scully BR  
family left. Except Mom, but she was married, so that BR  
doesn't count. My bills just keep piling up and I may not BR  
make rent next month. And now, I've overslept and I haven't BR  
finished our report, so Skinner going to freak..." The BR  
words came tumbling out, but instead of feeling better, she BR  
started feeling worse.BR  
BR  
"Oh Scully, why didn't you say something sooner? How could BR  
you just keep all that locked inside?" Mulder's heart was BR  
filled with compassion and joy that she had finally decided BR  
to trust him with her emotions.BR  
BR  
"Look, I don't need your pity. And this didn't make me feel BR  
any better. In fact, I feel a little bit worse now, so if BR  
you would please just excuse me, I've got to get ready for BR  
work." She brushed passed him and moved toward the bedroom. BR  
She could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she wouldn't BR  
allow herself to cry.BR  
BR  
"Scully, don't walk away from me. I'm not pitying you. BR  
Actually, right now, I'm so proud of you. But I don't think BR  
you're done healing yet. You've got one more barrier to BR  
break."BR  
BR  
Without turning around, Scully asked, "What's that?"BR  
BR  
"Haven't you ever heard of having a good cry? It's not a BR  
sign of weakness. It's just a way of letting go. I've BR  
heard your problems, but I don't think you've actually let BR  
them out."BR  
BR  
Scully mumbled something that Mulder couldn't quite hear.BR  
"What?"BR  
BR  
"I said, I'm afraid. I don't think I can."BR  
BR  
"Sure you can. You were on the brink in the kitchen. Just BR  
let go."BR  
BR  
Scully slowly turned to face him. Her eyes were glassy withBR  
tears daring to spill onto her cheeks at any moment. He BR  
opened his arms and she collapsed into them. The tears BR  
began to flow, slowly at first, but then she felt like it BR  
was a waterfall that would never stop.BR  
BR  
Mulder felt her shake as her tears dampened his shirt. BR  
Finally, he thought, she could start to heal. All those BR  
years of trauma were surfacing and she could begin to let BR  
go of her fears and doubts. BR  
BR  
Her sobbing began to subside. Strangely enough, she felt a BR  
little better. Scully pulled her head off Mulder's chest BR  
and looked up at him.BR  
BR  
"Thank you. I needed that." Scully said softly.BR  
BR  
"You're welcome. Now, go get dressed, young lady, before BR  
we have to explain to Skinner why we're late for the BR  
meeting."BR  
BR  
Scully pulled out of his embrace and headed toward her BR  
bedroom. When she reached the doorway, she turned around. BR  
"You know, Mulder, I'm so glad I have you in my life. I BR  
don't know what I would do without you. Deep down I think BR  
everybody, including me, needs someone to take care of them.BR  
I'm glad you're my guy."BR  
BR  
And with that, she turned back around and shut the door.BR  
BR  
End Part OneBR  
BR  
* * * * * * 


	2. Kiss Me

Title: Parallels II - Kiss Me  
Author: Sexy Phile  
E-mail: sexyphile@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Fight The Future  
Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST, Shmoopy MSR  
Distribution: Go For It (but let me know, K?)  
Disclaimer: "The X-Files", Dana Scully, Fox Mulder and any other   
character you recognize belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions,   
and Fox Television. The song "Kiss Me" belongs to Sixpence None The   
Richer and can be found on their self-titled CD and the "Dawson's   
Creek" soundtrack.  
Summary: An innocent curiousity leads to an unexpected result.   
  
* * * * * *  
  
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight.  
Lead me out on the moonlit floor.  
Lift your open hand.  
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance,  
Silver moon's sparkling.  
So kiss me  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Wednesday  
4:18 p.m.  
Basement Office  
  
Mulder looked over at Scully and found her nibbling on her pen and   
staring at the door. And the look on her face...it was   
almost...dreamy. After her breakdown this morning, she had been   
full of life. It seemed as if a weight had been lifted off her   
shoulders and the dark cloud that had been following her was nowhere   
to be found, he mused. Wow, he thought, I am full of cliches today.  
He heard her sigh, but this time it was more wistful than depressed.  
He was happy that she had let go of all her hang-ups and just cried.  
It was definitely a special moment that they had shared.  
  
"Scully?"  
  
"Hmmm. . ." She answered without looking at him.  
  
"You ready to get out of here?"  
  
"It's only 4:20."  
  
"So? Who's going to know? No one ever comes down to the basement,   
except Skinner and we already saw him today. C'mon, where's your   
sense of adventure?" Mulder prodded.  
  
"I guess so. But I left early yesterday too. Are you sure it's   
okay?"  
  
"As your boss, it's fine by me."  
  
"Okay, sure. I've still got some errands to run. . ."  
  
"No!" Mulder interrupted. "C'mon, let's go do something fun. I   
promise to give you plenty of time to get all your stuff done."  
  
Mulder gave her his puppy dog face. Scully hated when he gave her   
that look--she could never say no.  
  
"Well, okay, sure. What do you have in mind?" Scully was curious   
as to Mulder's intentions. This morning he had gotten her to open up  
and be vulnerable with him and now he wanted to skip out early from   
work to do something "fun". What was up with him today? He seemed   
so energetic, almost playful. She knew that this was the best she   
had felt in months. What a pair they were!  
  
"Well, hmmm. . .I haven't thought that far ahead. Why don't we just   
drive until we come someplace we like?" Mulder sounded like a   
teenager.  
  
"Sounds like a plan. So whose car are we taking and what are we   
going to do about the other one?"  
  
Mulder smiled to himself. Scully was so obsessed with details--even   
when it came to letting go and having fun. "Why don't you follow me   
back to my place and we'll take it from there?"  
  
"Ooo. . . are you coming onto me, Mulder?"  
  
"Only if you want me to," Mulder wiggled his eyebrows and Scully   
blushed. "Alright, let's go!"  
  
Mulder and Scully grabbed their stuff and headed out the door.   
Mulder turned and locked their office, then, with his hand on the   
small of Scully's back, they proceeded up the stairs and to their   
cars.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Kiss me down by the broken tree house.  
Swing me high upon its hanging tire.  
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat.  
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
5:13 p.m.  
Clara Barton Parkway  
  
Once at Mulder's apartment, they had decided to drive away from the   
city and hopefully avoid some of Washington's murderous rush hour   
traffic. Mulder had suggested they go to Glen Echo Park. Since   
Scully had never been there, Mulder had insisted that it be their   
destination. Then Scully had pointed out that their work clothes   
were not exactly made for romping around a park. They had ended up   
changing clothes before heading on their way: Mulder into black   
jeans and a white T-shirt and Scully into a small old shirt and a   
pair of navy athletic shorts of Mulder's with the drawstring pulled   
tight.  
  
"So, Mulder, what is there to do at this park?"  
  
"It's great! There's a carosel, bumper cars, lots of snack stands,   
and plenty of plain old open spaces, bordered by some of the oldest   
trees in DC. I can't believe you've never been there before.   
Haven't you ever done the "tourist-for-a-day" thing?" Mulder asked   
incredulously.  
  
"Sure I have. When I first to Maryland, a bunch of my friends and I   
road-tripped down to DC for a couple of days. But we didn't really   
leave the city," Scully explained. "What is this? Twenty   
questions?" She smiled to show she was kidding.  
  
"Hey! We should play that! You know, kinda like truth or dare, but   
only truth. Whaddya say?" Mulder gave her a toothy grin. "I wanna   
go first."  
  
"What is going on with you today?"  
  
"I said *I* wanted to go first. Okay, let's see, what do I want to   
ask the enigmatic Dana Scully? Hmmmm. . . okay, I've got one.   
What's your idea of the perfect mate?"  
  
Geez, he sounds like one of those cheezy women's magazines, Scully   
thought. Now how do I want to answer this? The answer is obvious:   
Mulder. I can't just come right out and say that. . . he would be so  
embarrassed because he doesn't return the feelings. I mean, he's   
only taking me on this little outing because he feels sorry for me   
after my outburst this morning. Anyway, I guess I better answer the   
question as vaguely as possible, so he won't guess I'm talking about   
him. "Well, he's gotta be taller than me, which isn't saying much   
and have green eyes. I'm such a sucker for green eyes! He needs to   
respect me and who I am. He needs to understand that I may not be   
able to share everything with him, but that's not because I don't   
trust him, just my own hang-ups," Scully finally responded. "Oh!  
And he has to have a nice ass!"  
  
"Seems like someone has put a lot of thought into this," Mulder   
commented.  
  
"A girl's gotta do something on all those car trips when her partner   
falls asleep," Scully replied, with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
I didn't expect her to take me seriously. This is so absurd, Mulder   
thought, I mean, that "perfect" guy sounded a lot like me. I guess   
I would try to fit myself into any profile she gave. I wish I could   
be the one who makes her this happy all the time. She's so playful   
today, I like it. "Okay, now it's your turn."  
  
Two can play this game -- literally, Scully thought. "Why haven't   
you ever kissed me?"  
  
WHAT?!?! Mulder's mind screamed. I was not expecting that! Great,   
how do I answer that?! The truth is, I've wanted to ever since that   
day lasy summer in my hallway. Geez...Should I tell her that? Does   
she want me to kiss her or is she just messing with me because of   
the question I asked?  
  
Mulder's thoughts were interrupted when he noticed the turnoff for   
the park. He easily found a parking space and turned off the engine.  
"We're here!"  
  
Scully smiled, but underneath she was confused. Why hadn't he   
answered her question? She had responded to his question and she was  
just playing along with *his* game. She had probably just embarassed  
him because he didn't know how to tell her that he didn't want to.   
Feeling like some of wind had been knocked out of her sails, Scully   
got out of the car, determined to have a fun afternoon with her *best  
friend* no matter what.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight  
Lead me out on the moonlit floor  
Lift your open hand.  
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance,  
Silver moon's sparkling  
So kiss me  
  
* * * * * *  
  
7:27 p.m.  
Glen Echo Park  
  
Mulder and Scully had been strolling around the park for about two   
hours. Scully's mood had definitely lightened up again. They had   
been flirting the whole time, and she was excited about what that   
could mean. He hadn't addressed her question from the car and she   
hadn't pressed the issue further. They had ridden the carosel and   
eaten cotton candy. Mulder had kept stealing bites from hers,   
eliciting giggles from Scully, a sound Mulder decided he could get   
used to.  
  
As the sun began to set, Mulder and Scully walked side by side,   
their arms casually around each other. It had been a fun, relaxing   
day, Scully mused, even if Mulder didn't answer THE QUESTION. He   
probably had been surprised that she had taken him seriously and   
decided to stop the madness before things had gotten out of hand.  
  
"You know, this was really fun, Mulder," Scully said, interrupting   
the silence. "I'm glad you brought me out here. We definitely   
should do this again sometime."  
  
"Is that my cue to take you home?" Mulder questioned.  
  
"Well, as much as I would love to stay here all night, you did   
promise to give me time to get the rest of my errands done. I've got  
a lot of things to do before my brother arrives tomorrow. I've had   
my playtime, so now it's time for me to get back to reality."  
  
"I guess, all good things must come to an end. I better get you   
home, Cinderella, before you turn into a pumpkin," Mulder said,   
reluctantly.  
  
"Would you mind taking me back to my place? I want to change back   
into my own clothes. Yours are nice, but I'd like to have some   
clothes that fit," she said with a smile.  
  
"As you wish, m'lady," Mulder responded mock-chivalrously.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Kiss me down by the bearded barley  
Lightly, beside the green, green grass  
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step  
You wear those shoes and I'll wear that dress  
  
* * * * * *  
  
8:17 p.m.  
Scully's apartment building  
  
"I'm sorry, you had to park so far away. I forgot they were repaving  
the parking lot. Good thing I left my car at your place. You didn't  
have to walk me in," Scully protested. "I'm a big girl that carries  
a gun. I can take care of myself."  
  
"I know you can," Mulder replied sheepishly. "I'm doing this mostly   
for myself. I don't want anything to happen to my girl."  
  
"Oh, so I'm your girl, now?" Scully observed with a smile.  
  
"Well, you said this morning that I was your guy, so doesn't that   
mean that you're my girl?" Mulder was glad it was dark because he   
was sure he was blushing. He couldn't believe he let that slip out.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it does," Scully replied, linking her arm through   
his.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
8:27 p.m.  
Outside Scully's Apartment  
  
"So, we're here," Mulder said, stating the obvious, as they   
approached Scully's apartment door.  
  
"Yeah," Scully agreed, but made no move to unlock the door. She had   
enjoyed playing hooky, unlike yesterday, and was reluctant to have   
it end. She was disappointed that Mulder had avoided her question,   
but she wasn't really surprised. His behavior today was a bit   
confusing, but she suspected he was just being nice.  
  
Mulder stared at Scully, willing the night not to be over. She   
looked so beautiful, dressed in his clothes. Even through the   
masculine apparel, he could see her curves that made her distinctly   
Scully. Why was he being such a coward? Why was he so afraid of   
taking a risk? She wouldn't have asked if she didn't want to know.  
  
Scully tried to dig into her pockets for her keys, but remembered   
that Mulder had her wallet and keys because his athletic shorts that   
she was wearing did not have any pockets. She looked up to ask him   
for her belongings, but found his gaze already fixed upon her. She   
recognized the look on his face. It was the same look he had given   
here in his hallway before he. . .  
  
Scully's thoughts were interrupted by the sensation of Mulder's lips   
pressed gently against hers. The kiss was intense, but tender as he   
traced her bottom lip with his tongue. He weaved his hands through   
her hair, pulling her more closely to him. Her hands traced up his   
chest and came to rest over his heart. Mulder pulled away before the  
kiss deepened.  
  
Merely centimeters apart, Mulder gazed into her eyes for a minute   
and then spoke. "I've wanted to do that since I found you in   
Antarctica."   
  
"Why didn't you?" Scully whispered breathlessly.  
  
"Can we continue this inside? This really isn't the atmosphere I   
pictured for this conversation."  
  
Scully nodded mutely. Mulder reached into his pocket, fished out   
her keys and unlocked the door. Once inside, Scully walked to her   
bedroom to change into her own clothes, wondering what Mulder might   
say. Pulling on grey sweatpants and an old Academy T-shirt, she   
thought about the kiss. It had been tender and sweet, but full of   
passion and promise of more to come. Looking in the mirror, she   
slowly ran her index finger over her lips and smiled.  
  
Meanwhile, Mulder sat on her couch, pondering the right way to say   
how he felt. He loved her, plain and simple, but he didn't want to   
say too much, too fast. He knew she was still very emotionally   
taxed after the week she had been having. He wasn't sure exactly   
how she felt about him, but she had definitely been kissing him back.  
He nervously drummed his fingers on his leg. Hearing a noise behind   
him, Mulder turned his head.  
  
Scully entered the living room, carrying his clothes, neatly folded   
and a hint of a smile on her face. "Thanks," she said as she handed   
him the small pile of clothing.  
  
"Anything for you," was his response.  
  
Scully sat on the couch, facing him, with one leg tucked under   
herself. "So. . ."  
  
"So, I guess I owe you some kind of explanation. I'm not really   
sure why I never kissed you before. I really wish I had. When we   
returned for Antarctica, the only I wanted to do was kiss you and   
hold you forever. Unfortunately, the circumstances never allowed me   
to get past the aliens, conspiracies, ghosts, sea monsters, and other  
oddities that I misdirected my passion toward. When I say you so   
full of pain and locked inside yourself this morning, I couldn't   
believe I let myself get so distracted that I didn't notice you were   
having such a hard time dealing with your brother's wedding. So, I   
decided to direct my passion toward omething more important than my   
work: you. If you'll have me, that is."  
  
Scully was taken aback by Mulder's straightforward confession. A   
single tear traced a crooked path down her cheek. Mulder leaned   
forward and cupped her face with his hand. His thumb brushed away   
the tear. She smiled, to show him it was a tear of happiness, not   
of sorrow she shed. Weaving her hand through his hair, she pulled   
his face close to hers and whispered seductively, "Oh, I'll   
definitely have you." Following her innuendo, she kissed him,   
deeper this time.  
  
Kiss by kiss, they grew closer, physically and emotionally. Scully   
leaned back against the arm of the sofa, pulling Mulder on top of   
her. She had never felt more safe or loved in her life.  
  
The phone rang, startling both of them. Mulder leaned back slightly,  
but Scully shook her head and said, "Let the machine get it."  
  
"Hi. You've reached Dana Scully. Leave a message after the beep."   
Scully's recorded voice rang out throught the room.  
  
"Dana," Margaret Scully's voice filled the air, sounding as if   
she'd been crying. "Please pick up if you're there. I need to talk   
to you. . ."  
  
End - Part 2 


	3. One Sweet Day

Title: Parallels III - One Sweet Day  
Author: Sexy Phile  
E-mail: sexyphile@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Beyond the Sea, The Blessing Way/Paper Clip  
Keywords: ScullyAngst, MSR  
Disclaimer: The X-Files and any character you recognized from the show do   
not belong to me. I am only borrowing them, but I will be making no money   
from this. My payment is purely feedback. The song "One Sweet Day"   
belongs to Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men.  
Summary: Scully deals with the aftermath of her mother's urgent phone call.  
  
Author's Notes: This story has changed many times, but I think I finally   
found the right combination. This piece has been a labor of love for me.   
The actions of Mulder and Scully may not be true to character, but they are  
my tools for recovery. I've taken to using fanfic as a way for me to work   
through my own traumas. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, but   
please no flames because this is my soul in words. This is dedicated to   
anyone experienced these events.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Although the sun will never shine the same  
I'll always look to a brighter day  
Lord, I know when I lay me down to sleep  
You will always listen when I pray  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Wednesday  
9:03 p.m.  
Scully's Apartment  
  
"Dana," Margaret Scully's voice filled the air, sounding as if she'd been  
crying. "Please pick up if you're there. I need to talk to you. . ."  
  
"What's wrong, Mom?" Scully had gotten up at the sound of her mother's  
voice.  
  
"Oh, Dana, you're there. You'd better sit down. . ."  
  
"Mom, you're scaring me. What happened? Are you alright?"  
  
"Dana, I have some bad news. I don't know how to say this. Charlie and   
Lauren were in an auto accident. They...they didn't make it. They died."  
  
"What? Oh my God. . ." Dana was in shock.  
  
Mulder watched all the color drain out of Scully's face. The tears began   
to flow down her face, but she made no move to wipe them away. He could   
not hear Mrs. Scully's end of the conversation, but he knew something   
serious must have happened to make Scully cry. While his mind ran through   
the myriad of possibilities, Scully slowly hung up the phone. The tears   
had stopped, but she stood motionless in the middle of the room.  
  
"Scully?" Mulder quietly called out.  
  
At the sound of her name, Scully turned toward him, staring at him as if she were   
surprised to see him sitting there. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words   
wouldn't come.  
  
"Oh Scully, what happened?" Mulder stood up and took a tentative step in her   
direction. He held out his hand and she grasped it tightly. He gently pulled her   
toward him until they were sitting side by side on her sofa.  
  
"Mom called to tell me she had just found out some bad news," Scully stated in a   
strangled, but detached voice. "My brother and his financee were on their way home   
from the gym. Some 13-year-old kid joy-riding in his parent's Jag ran a stop sign   
going 130 and hit them broadside. They died on impact as well as the kid."  
  
Mulder was dumbstruck. This wasn't right. Scully couldn't have lost another sibling.  
Life was so kind to some and so cruel to others. Charlie and Lauren were supposed to   
be preparing for the happiest day of their life when it was suddenly taken from them   
without warning. Scully remained silent and Mulder could tell she was trying to bury   
her emotions. "What can I do?"  
  
"You can't do anything!" Scully spat out. "My brother is dead. No one can do   
anything. I can't...I can't think right now. I think you'd better go. I want to be   
alone." She started to choke up, but once again she composed herself before any tears  
fell. She got up from the couch and walked briskly back to the bedroom.  
  
Mulder sat on her couch, stunned at her sudden anger, as he watched her quick retreat   
out of the room. Not knowing what else to do, he got up and left for his own   
apartment.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Darling, I never showed up  
Assumed you'd always be there  
I took your presence for granted  
And I miss the love we shared  
  
* * * * * *  
  
9:15 p.m.  
Scully's bedroom  
  
Scully heard the front door close shortly after she left the room. She slowly   
surveyed her room, as if she had never seen it before. Her eye caught the group of   
picture frames on her chest of drawers. So many memories captured on film, frozen in   
time, their smiles haunting her as she picked them up individually. First, the   
traditional family photo, taken before her father had died, before any of the kids had  
gotten married. Melissa's smile dug into her soul, as she remembered that the bullet   
was meant for her. The family picture in Scully's mind was becoming smaller and   
smaller, as she subtracted first her father, then her sister, and now her younger   
brother. Of course, Bill Jr. had done his part to try to increase the family numbers,  
but Tara and Matthew could never replace those that had gone.  
  
The next picture frame she clutched was a candid picture of her and Charlie wrestling  
in the sand on the last family vacation to the beach. Charlie had decided to sneak up  
on her while she slept under the beach umbrella. She woke up when she made her   
splashdown in the waves. She had gotten him back the next day by filling his bathing   
suit with sand. He had then attacked her in the sand. They had laughed about it and   
called a truce. Her mother had given her the photo, when she had complained that she   
didn't have any recent pictures of Charlie. Scully figured that this was how she   
would always remember him: The annoying younger brother in their childhood, who grew   
up to be one of the sweetest, but most childish guys she had ever known.  
  
Suddenly, Scully couldn't stand to see the photos of her family looking so happy.   
With one great sweep of her arm, she shoved the frames off her dresser. They fell to   
the floor with a resounding crash. In an instant, the happy family was marred by   
broken glass, much like real life. While trying to pick up the pieces, a sliver of   
glass sliced her finger. Staring at the blood dripping down her finger, she began to   
sob, leaning against the dresser for support.  
  
When she couldn't cry anymore, she stood and surveyed the mess. Exhaustion swept over  
Scully. Digging through the back of her closet, she found the stuffed frog Charlie   
had won for her at the street fair on that same beach trip. Not bothering to change   
clothes, she crawled into her unmade bed with the frog and drifted into a fitful   
sleep.  
  
* * * * * *  
Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say  
And now it's too late to hold you  
'Cause you've flown away, so far away  
  
* * * * * *  
  
4:20 a.m.  
  
Scully woke up suddenly. She couldn't remember what she had been dreaming, but   
whatever it had been, she was visibly still shaking. She reminded herself that   
nightmares could be attributed to the stress she was under and were a part of the   
grieving process.  
  
The grieving process. She could write a book on the subject. How many times had she   
been right here, grieving for the loss of another family member? If she were a   
superstitious person, she might have said that the Scully family must have a curse on   
them. What a Mulderesque response to the current situation! He must be rubbing off on  
me more than I thought, she said to herself.  
  
Now that she was wide-awake, Scully knew she wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime   
soon. Looking down at her rumpled clothes, she decided to take a drive, anything to  
get out of her place. She picked up the frog that lay in her lap and wrinkled her   
nose. It really was an ugly frog. She kissed it on the nose and paused briefly on   
the off chance it might turn into a prince. When it remained a stuffed frog, Scully   
sighed and tossed it on the bed. Grabbing her wallet and keys from the front table,   
she walked to the door. As she opened it, she realized her car was still at Mulder's   
apartment. Dropping her things to the floor, she slammed the door, not caring about   
the echo that resounded in the early morning stillness.   
  
"Damn it!" she screamed at no one in particular.  
  
Picking up the phone, she started to dial her mother's number, but decided not to wake  
her. She knew she needed to be strong and support the family, not worrying it.   
Instead she dialed Mulder's number. Holding the cordless phone, she walked to the   
couch and curled up on one side, as waited for him answer on the other end.  
  
"Hello? Scully?" Mulder picked up the phone next to his bed.  
  
"How did you know it was me?"  
  
"Lucky guess. What's up?"  
  
"Well, I had a nightmare that woke me up and I was going to take a drive, but I   
realized my car was still at your place, so then I decided to call you, but I really   
don't know why because it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm sure you were asleep. . ."   
Scully babbled on and on in Mulder's ear.  
  
"Scully!"   
  
"What?"  
  
"You're babbling. Look, just sit tight. I'm going to come and keep you company until  
you get sleepy again. Give me twenty minutes."  
  
"Oh, you don't have to do that, dammit, I knew it was a bad idea to call you, I didn't  
mean to wake you, it's really no big deal, never mind."  
  
"Scully, it's ok. I want to be with you. Just give me twenty minutes." Mulder   
reiterated and hung up the phone.  
  
True to his word, Mulder arrived twenty minutes later. He had been asleep as Scully   
had said, but her voice had told him that he needed to go to her. He was angry with   
himself for leaving her alone earlier that evening when she was so distraught. He   
knew better--the last two days, not to mention the last six years, had taught him   
that. He was glad that she had learned, too. She had taken the first step and called  
him. She was admitting that she needed him.  
  
Using his key, he entered her apartment. He found her sitting on the end of her   
couch, holding the cordless phone in her hand, staring into space. Though the room   
was dark, he could tell that she was still wearing the same clothes that she had been   
wearing earlier that evening.  
  
"You know, I never thought this could happen," Scully spoke, acknowledging Mulder's   
presence, but not looking at him. Her voice was surprisingly even, although it was   
pitched lower as if she had been crying for a long time. "The little brother   
shouldn't die before the big sister. That's not the way it should work. I mean, he   
was getting married--his life was just starting, not ending. It's just not   
fair. . ." Her voice broke on the word "fair", halting her somber tirade.  
  
Mulder moved to sit next to her. He removed the phone from her hands and returned it   
to its cradle. He took one of her hands in both of his, rubbing the back of it with   
his thumb. "You're right, it's not fair. I'm sorry I never go to meet Charlie. I'm   
sure he was a great guy."  
  
Scully looked up at him, with tears in her eyes. "He was, he really was." Hearing   
herself speak of Charlie in the past tense drove the reality home. He little brother   
was gone. "No! NO! This is not happening. This is all a bad dream--the worst kind   
of nightmare. I want to wake up now--I can't take this anymore. I want my brother   
back!"  
  
"I know you do, honey, I know you do. Come here." Mulder opened his arms, and a   
tentative, crying Scully filled them. As she sobbed, he felt his heart breaking. If   
only he could take her pain away, he would do so in a heartbeat. He hated being so   
helpless, while he watched her so full of anguish and sorrow.  
  
He continued to hold her after the sobbing subsided. Her breathing became very even   
and he thought she might have drifted off to sleep, until she spoke softly.  
  
"I can't believe what a horrible sister I am. I've been morose and whiny the whole   
time they were planning the wedding. I was so cold to him when he phoned on Monday to   
tell me they were coming for the weekend. I begged out of so many family outings and   
events these past few months. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to talk to him one  
more time, just to tell him that I love him. I am such a bitch!"  
  
"Scully, listen to me. You had no way of knowing this was going to happen. I'm sure   
he understood and he knew you loved him. He was your brother and I know he loved you   
no matter how you acted or what you said because that's how family is."  
  
Scully looked up at him, her eyes wide and rimmed with mascara. "You think so?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
She gave him a tiny, watery smile and laid her head back on his shoulder. They slept   
like that until morning.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Never had I imagined living without your smile  
Feeling and knowing you hear me  
It keeps me alive  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Thursday  
10:31 a.m.  
  
Scully awoke slowly, slightly disoriented. She was lying on her couch with a quilt   
wrapped around her. She tried to remember how she came to be in this position. She,   
unlike Mulder, was not in the habit of sleeping on her couch. Suddenly, reality came   
flooding back to her. Charlie was gone--her precious little brother was dead. Sleep   
had not taken away her pain; it had only given her a slight respite. Mulder must have  
left after I went to sleep, she thought. I guess I can't blame him. Sitting up,   
Scully debated what to do next. She didn't feel like getting dressed, but she knew   
she needed to go to her family.  
  
Mulder returned from the kitchen, watching Scully stretch and sit up on the couch.   
She remained motionless for a few moments before rising, presumably to shower and   
prepare for the day. Her shoulders were slumped and her slightly downcast. He knew   
the events of the day before were now beginning to sink in and she was experiencing a   
new level of grief. He gave her a few moments of privacy before announcing his   
presence.  
  
"I made some coffee."  
  
Scully turned to him. "Mulder! What are you doing here? I thought you left."  
  
"I woke up about an hour ago. You were sleeping so soundly, I decided not to wake   
you. I know you haven't slept well the past few nights. I would never abandon you,   
unless you asked me to. Even then I would never be far away."  
  
"Thank you. I really needed the sleep. Coffee sounds great."  
  
Mulder retreated into the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee. Returning to the   
living room with both steaming mugs, he sat on the sofa and handed her one. "How are   
you doing this morning?"  
  
Scully thought a moment before speaking. Her knee-jerk reaction was to say she was   
fine, but that wasn't the truth. Mulder deserved to hear the truth. "Not so good.   
It doesn't seem real. I can't believe he's really gone. My head knows he is, but my   
heart doesn't want to accept it."  
  
Mulder was surprised at her confession, but at the same time he knew that the events   
of the past few days had broken down the walls between them. She had decided to be   
honest with him and to trust him not only with her life, but her heart as well.  
  
"Thanks for the coffee, Mulder. Well, I've been stalling long enough. No matter how   
long I wait, it's not going to get any easier. There's so much I've got to get done.  
Plane reservations, car rental, hotel, etc."  
  
She began pacing the living room, making a mental checklist of the many chores that   
needed to be accomplished before leaving on her somber journey. Mulder watched her   
pace for a moment before getting off the couch and standing in front of her, blocking   
her path so she could not pace any longer.  
  
"Mulder, move. I need to get this stuff done."  
  
"Scully, stop for a second. Your mom called this morning--"  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?! I've got to call her--"  
  
"Scully, listen. She told me not to wake you. The family is meeting tomorrow in LA   
to discuss arrangements with Lauren's family. I booked you on an 8:30 a.m. flight out  
of Dulles, which will get you into LAX around 11:23 a.m. local time. You have a   
rental car reservation at Budget and you're staying with your mom at the Radisson.   
Your mom was leaving this morning, but she said she'd called when she arrived. All   
you have to do now is pack."  
  
Scully stared up at Mulder in awe. She couldn't believe he had done all this for   
her. "Mulder...I don't know what to say. You're amazing. Thank you. This means so   
much to me. I guess I should go get ready and start packing. You'll hang around to   
help me out?  
  
"Of course."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
Together, one sweet day  
  
* * * * * *  
  
11:19 a.m.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah?" Mulder got up from the couch where he'd been relaxing and moved in the   
direction of Scully's voice.  
  
"I need your help." She paused, waiting for him to enter her bedroom. "I made a   
little mess last night and I need some help cleaning it up."  
  
Mulder strode across the room to where Scully had gestured. When he got there, he was  
shocked at the sight. All of Scully's neatly framed family photos lay scattered   
across the floor, glass shards everywhere. "Scully, what happened?"  
  
"It's stupid. After you left, I came in here and looked at my photos of Charlie. I   
thought it would make me feel a little better, but instead I felt horrible. I lashed   
out at the pictures by shoving them off my bureau. I don't know why I thought ruining  
my pictures would make the problem go away. It was really dumb and now I've got to   
clean it all up. I tried to do it last night, but I cut myself on the glass."  
  
Mulder stood silent for a moment, absorbing the information. He was worried because   
he had never known Scully to become violent when upset, but it had happened twice this   
week. Right now, though, he needed to support her. Kneeling carefully, so as not to   
cut himself, he began to clean up the mess. Several minutes later, he came across a   
picture of Scully with both her brothers in front of a river. He looked at it   
thoughtfully. "I've never seen this one before. When was this taken?"  
  
Scully looked up from what she was doing to see at what he was looking. She was glad   
to hear him speak. He hadn't said a word since she had revealed the nature of the   
mess in her bedroom. Hesitantly, she took the picture from his hands. The memories   
from that trip came racing back. "Oh that was over New Year's, but I had only just   
recently gotten it framed. I guess I'll have to do that again." She laughed,   
ruefully. "It must have been an act of God or something, but Bill and Charlie both  
had shore leave that weekend, so the family decided to meet halfway in Chicago. That   
picture was taken on Navy Pier, which as it turns out, has nothing to do with the   
Navy. Charlie was so disappointed. It was weird going on vacation with Mom and the   
boys--it felt like I was a kid again. The only thing missing was Missy--that was   
hard. No one mentioned it, but I know everyone was thinking about it. Especially   
when we took that picture because every time we took a trip when we were kids, Mom   
insisted we take a group shot of us kids. She promised that when we got older, we   
would treasure them--and she was right. And now, Charlie's gone too." Scully sighed.  
"I just wish I would have known that was the last time I was going to see him..."  
  
Mulder listened intently to her story, relishing the tiny bits of family history that   
came with it, but feeling the regret and pain in her voice. He loved to hear about   
her family and her past, but he wished it didn't have to be like this. "Come here."  
  
Scully leaned into him and felt his arms wrap around her. He was saying soothing   
things to try to ease her mind, but didn't hear them. She was a million miles away,   
silently reliving her favorite moments with her brother, knowing that there would be   
no more. No matter how many times she tried, Scully could not file away her grief as   
she had in the past. It scared her--she was used to being in control of her emotions.  
This trip was sure to be a test of her character and she wasn't sure she was   
prepared.  
  
"Mulder."  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being the one that I can be myself with. For being the one that I can call at   
four in the morning because I don't want to be alone. Thank you for letting me work   
through this without pressure or embarrassment. For taking care of me even when I   
think I can go it alone. But most of all, thank you for loving me."  
  
"Scully, I--"  
  
"I know you never really said it, but I know you do. I love you too. I've let myself   
get in the way too many times, but I realize now that life is fleeting. You never   
know how long you have and I just want you to know how much you mean to me. If I had  
my choice, I'd stay like this in your arms and never face the reality, but that's not   
practical. I have to go to LA."  
  
Scully looked up at him with misty eyes. Mulder kissed her chastely on the lips and   
held her close. "You mean the world to me too. I don't think I can express to what I  
feel, but when I look in your eyes, I know you know. That's all that matters. I'm   
always here if you need me. Take as long as you need with your family in LA. I'll   
take care of everything here. And when you get back, I'll be right here, waiting for   
you."  
  
Scully let a solitary tear run down her cheek as she snuggled into Mulder's embrace.   
The pair were bathed in sunlight as they held each other, not sure what the future   
might bring.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
The End.  
  
Was it enough? Did you like it? I had contemplated continuing this series through   
the episodes, starting with Milagro, but I think it finished up well here. For the   
timeline of my world, "Milagro" takes place after Scully returns from her trip to Los   
Angeles, but she has not quite come to terms with her brother's death. The crying   
scene at the end is her cleansing of those feelings and her acceptance that Charlie is  
no longer among the living.  
  
Ok, I need feedback, so let me have it: sexyphile@hotmail.com  
  



	4. London Rain

Title: Parallels IV - London Rain  
Author: SexyPhile  
E-Mail: sexyphile@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: none  
Keywords: ScullyAngst, implied MSR  
Disclaimer: The X-Files and any character you recognized from the   
show do not belong to me. I am only borrowing them, but I will be   
making no money from this. My payment is purely feedback. The song   
"London Rain" belongs to Heather Nova and can be found on the   
"Dawson's Creek" soundtrack or her CD "Siren".  
Summary: Scully comes home to Mulder a changed woman.  
  
Author's Notes: Although I thought "One Sweet Day" would be the end   
of this little series, it is not. An event occured on November 14,   
1999 that changed me and because of that, I felt that I needed to   
write this chapter. I hope it lives up to the other three parts.   
Again, this is for my own healing, but also hopefully your reading   
enjoyment. Dedicated, with love, to Andy McCoy, who will live on in   
my heart forever.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
I'm coming, I'm coming home to you  
I'm alive, I'm a mess  
I can't wait to home to you  
To get warm, warm and undressed  
There've been changes beyond my dreams  
Things I'm sinking in  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"Welcome to Dullus International Airport. Local time is 9:17pm.   
Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the captain   
turns off the Fasten Seatbelt sign. On behalf of the flight crew, I   
would like to thank you for flying United. We know you have a choice  
in air travel and we're glad you chose to fly the friendly skies."  
  
Scully sighed as she listened to the flight attendant's message. She  
had heard it so many times, she was sure she could give it by memory.  
It had been a very long trip. There had been at least three   
screaming children that had not fallen asleep until thirty minutes   
before landing. Once the flight attendant's message had begun, they   
woke up one by one, each adding their unique cry to the mix.   
  
When the attendant was done, Scully smiled to herself, as she   
listened to the clicking of seat buckles, as the crowd passengers   
blatently ignoring the message and hurried to gather their   
belongings. Scully slowly unbuckled her seatbelt, but made no move   
to get up. She was in no hurry to return to her apartment. It was   
cold, empty and fully of reminders that now there were only two   
Scully siblings left. She knew she could call Mulder and he would   
be at her place in minutes, but she didn't want to lean on him too   
heavily. She was a big girl -- she could take care of herself. She   
sat in her seat lost in thought until one of the flight attendants   
approached her and remindered her that she was the last passenger   
left on the plane.  
  
The flight attendant then quickly moved to the back of the aircraft   
to continue her post-flight duties. Scully stood and stretched   
since she had not gotten up during the entire six-hour flight from   
LA. To retrieve her bag from the overhead compartment, she had to   
climb onto the seat and perch percariously on the armrest, all the   
while opening the bin. Somehow, she managed to procure her small   
rolling suitcase without falling. Grabbing her coat from the seat,   
she proceed out of the airplane and down the jetway into the   
terminal.  
  
"You always have to make an entrance, don't you?"  
  
Scully's unfocused gaze moved slowly to the lonely form sitting in   
the chairs to the left of the gate entrance. Mulder was slouched   
in the hard plastic chair, letting his feet rest on the seat across   
from him. He wore a lopsided smile as he got up from his position   
and walked over to where she was standing, open-mouthed. "I'm   
guessing you didn't expect to find me here."  
  
"How did you know what flight I was on?"  
  
"Your mom called. She's worried about you, you know? She wanted to   
make sure you were taken care of. And before you say, you can take   
care of yourself, I know that. But hey, I can't say no to your mom.  
So here I am."  
  
Scully absorbed this information silently. That was just like her   
mother. She knew her mom was worried about her, but she was glad   
that her mom let her leave LA to come here. She needed to come   
home, to be immersed in her life, in Mulder. Somehow, her mother   
knew that too.  
  
"So, let's go get your bag. I'm assuming you did check that big bag   
and didn't leave it in the hotel right?"  
  
"Yeah. I wasn't paying attention to what baggage claim my flight's   
at though."  
  
"Well, the advantage of coming in this late on a Sunday is that   
there aren't that many flights to choose from. I'm sure we can find   
it without too much hassle. After all, we are Feds -- that should be  
good for something, shouldn't it?"  
  
She smiled at him. It was a small smile, but it made it all the way   
to her eyes, where it really counted. He could tell that although   
she would never admit it, she was glad he came. He knew she wasn't   
looking forward to going back to her apartment alone. She needed   
him whether she would say it aloud or not. Draping his arm around   
her, they walked toward the people movers to return to the main   
terminal to retrieve her large bag. Once on board, Mulder took a   
good look at his Scully. She was pale with dark rings under her   
eyes. She hadn't bothered with make-up this morning, making her   
slight imperfections noticeable, if only to him. He knew where to   
look.  
  
Scully turned her head slightly to look at him and caught his gaze.   
She knew he was sizing her up, checking to see how she was doing. It  
unnerved her that he could do that, but it was slightly comforting to  
know that he didn't expect anything of her. He didn't know what she   
had been through, but he wasn't pushing her for details. They would   
spill out as time progressed. Now it was a waiting game. And he had  
all the time in the world to wait.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
And when somebody knows you well  
Well there's no comfort like that  
And when somebody needs you  
Well there's no drug like that  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Mulder loaded her bags into the trunk of his car, while Scully got in  
the passenger side. It was time, she thought. She needed to talk   
about it. The forty minute drive to her apartment would be the   
perfect opportunity.  
  
Mulder got in the car and could almost feel the change in the   
atmosphere. Scully was staring straight ahead when he opened the   
door, but as he sat down and started the engine, she turned to him   
with a look that he had never seen before. This was it. She was   
going to tell him what happened while she was away.  
  
"I knew it was going to be hard, you know? We had talked about it   
and I knew no matter what either of us said, I was never going to be   
prepared to bury my little brother. And as right as I was about   
that, I was so wrong too." She paused, but Mulder said nothing.   
She was collecting her thoughts so as not to lose her composure. She  
had cried enough; she wouldn't cry here.  
  
"I met Lauren's parents for the first time on Thursday. She was an   
only child. They were devastated, but somehow they managed to host   
my family and comfort us through it all. It was amazing. Since   
Charlie had converted to Methodism for Lauren, it was immediately   
decided that Lauren's home church, St. Christopher's, be the site of   
the memorial service. Except it was called a celebration of life.   
I've been to my share of Catholic funerals, but this was something I   
had never experienced. I laughed through it, well until the end."   
Scully's face had turned away from Mulder's and was staring out of   
the windshield at the raindrops as the fell on the glass again. Her   
voice had a quality to it that Mulder couldn't decipher. It was the   
gravelly tone she used when she was trying to keep her emotions in   
check, but added to it was something that he could only describe as   
wonder. She was speaking without checking herself, simply from her   
heart, something so rare and he treasured every word.  
  
"The priest, Rev. Ken Smith, was the one who was going to marry   
Lauren and Charlie. He had been the preacher since Lauren was a   
little girl. There were so many funny stories that he told about her  
growing up as well as some stories of Charlie's younger years,   
supplied by mom. Then he started talking about Charlie and Lauren as  
a couple and how he had loved watching them together. He said that   
he didn't use the phrase "meant to be" much, but in this case it   
applied. Now that they were gone, he thought it was still true, but   
in a way that no one had thought. They were meant to be together in   
life and in death." Scully halted here, her voice catching on the   
word death, but then she plunged on.  
  
"Most of the stories he told, I had never heard before, which made me  
realize how self-absorbed I had become. Mom, Bill and Tara smiled   
and nodded, apparently with similar memories of those stories, where   
I had none. I kept asking myself why it was that I could only   
really hear him when he was no longer here. I tuned out for a   
moment, reflecting on that thought, until the priest said something   
that I never could have expected. He said that in all his meetings   
with Charlie and Lauren about the specifics of their wedding, the one  
thing that Charlie was looking forward to most was having his sister   
there to see him." Choking out these words, Scully stopped her   
monologue as the tears began to fall slowly down her cheeks. It was   
out now. It was confirmed. She had said it outloud, which when the  
sound reached her ears, tore her heart to bits. Hearing herself say   
it was almost worst than the first time she had heard it.  
  
Her hands covered her face to muffle the sobs that wracked her body.  
She knew Mulder could hear her crying, but she couldn't look at him.  
Mulder watched her struggle for control and placed his hand on her   
thigh. He didn't speak; he just let her cry. After a few minutes,   
she dropped her hands from her face, but stared out the window,   
avoiding any looks he might have been giving her. He took her hand   
and held it. She gasped slightly at the contact, but continued to   
stare out the window. Once she had slowed her breathing to a normal   
pace, she used her free hand to wipe the remnents of her tears away.  
  
They rode in silence for the next few minutes, their hands still   
joined on Scully's lap. Mulder broke the silence first.  
  
"Scully, you know it wasn't your fault. You had no way of knowing   
that this was going to happen. You were going to be there for him on  
his wedding day, just like he wanted."  
  
"But, you see, that's just it. Even though I was going along with   
all the preparations, I was going to fake an excuse to get out of it.  
I didn't want to be surrounded by all the wedded bliss. Hopefully we  
would have been on a case so it wouldn't have been a complete lie.   
That way Charlie wouldn't hate me so much. He would understand if it  
was work-related." Scully's voice was full of self-contempt and had   
a twinge of bitter mocking to it.   
  
"Oh Scully." Mulder breathed in disbelief. What a burden she was   
carrying. Mulder couldn't think of anything to respond to that. He   
was speechless. He wanted to hold her, but driving made that an   
impossibility. He squeezed her hand, trying to force as much of his   
strength into her as he could through their joined hands.  
  
"I was so full of guilt and grief that I could barely walk out of the  
sanctuary. I sat in the tiny chapel in the back of the church while   
the rest of the family made a receiving line to greet everyone who   
came. I sat there for a long time, not knowing what to do with   
myself. I wanted to talk to Charlie, to tell him how sorry I was,   
how much I loved him.   
  
"The door opened and I figured it was mom coming to get me to join   
the receiving line. But it wasn't. It was Lauren's mom, Barbara.   
She sat next to me without saying a word. Something about her made   
me want to tell her what was wrong. I just started talking. She sat  
there and listened to me and my horrible tale of guilt. Then she   
hugged me. She told me that she had heard a lot about me from   
Charlie, and that she knew that he knew I loved him. He was in a   
better place now and he would watch over me just like I had done for   
him for all those years. If I wanted to talk to him, all I had to do  
was pray and he would speak to me.  
  
"That astounded me. She had such faith even though she had just   
walked out of her daughter's funeral. She told me that Charlie would  
be closer to me than he ever had before because now he lived in my   
heart. She hugged me again and then left the chapel to allow me to   
reflect in private. Then I did something I hadn't done in a very   
long time. I prayed. I don't know whether he heard me or not, but I  
poured my soul out to Charlie in that dark, small chapel. When I   
finished, I felt calm and at peace. I can't describe it, but that's   
when I knew that Barbara was right. I'll never lose Charlie--he's in  
my heart."  
  
Mulder listened in awe to Scully's naked confession. This was not   
the same woman who had left him three days ago. She was comfortable   
with him and had just spoken her soul's contents to him as if it was   
tomorrow's weather forcast. He wasn't sure how to respond to this   
change and what other things might have changed during her journey of  
grief and reflection. Scully could feel Mulder's hesitance and   
bewilderment. She squeezed Mulder's hand as they pulled up in front   
of her building. "It's good to be home."  
  
They walked up the stairs and to her apartment in silence. After   
fumbling with her keys, she unlocked the door and Mulder followed her  
in. He dropped her bag near the door, unsure of what to do next.   
Scully could sense his indecision. She walked over to where he   
stood and held his hand. "Thank you for coming to pick me up. I'm   
glad I have you to take care of me."  
  
"You're welcome." His eyes asked hers a question. Hers answered   
while she spoke.  
  
"Um, could you spend the night? I really don't want to be alone."  
  
"Anything for you."  
  
And they slept, content in their love.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
And where I'm home, curled in your arms  
And I'm safe again  
I'll close my eyes and sleep, sleep  
To the sound of London Rain  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
The End.  
  
So, was it worth it? As good as the others? Please let me know.   
Feedback makes it all worthwhile: sexyphile@hotmail.com 


End file.
